Mom guilt.

My mom warned me that becomming a new mom would also mean that I'd experience "mom guilt", and more then I'd hope for. And she's right. I feel like I'm constantly feeling guilty for something. Here's two in particular...

Let's start with that we are now officially done with breastfeeding. No more pumping and late-night feedings (the one thing I was holding on to). Lucy is now a formula-fed little girl and I have to say since the switch she is by far a new baby. She's always so happy and content, I love it. However, it doesn't help the fact that I'm feeling the mom guilt for 1. not giving her breastmilk anymore knowing that it's better for her and 2. that we no longer get to have that breastfeeding bond. (Can you tell by now I have a hard time letting things go!?)

On another note, tomorrow my baby girl starts her first day of daycare. I can't even begin to explain the mom guilt I'm feeling about this one. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Miss Sherri (her new daycare provider) and all of the kids there who I know Lucy will have a ball with, but I can't help but feel so sad and guilty that I can't be with her 24/7. I know that daycare isn't a terrible thing for kids and I'm actually pretty glad that she will get that social interaction she needs as well as all the learning activities she will get to do and the things she will learn (these kids were pretty impressive at their circle time the other day when we visited!), but I am absolutely terrified that she will somehow not even know I'm her mommy anymore. I know things are going to change and I no longer can just hand her over to Mark in the evening while I get dinner, laundry, etc. done. I'm going to have to figure out how to juggle that as well as spending the most quality time I can at night and on weekends with her. I know we'll eventually get it down though and it will all work out in the end. Just pray for me tomorrow.. I'm sure I'll be a sobby mess! :( I mean how could you not miss this pretty face every day?

I'm not one to really set New Years resolutions every year but I did tell myself that I want to focus a lot on my blog this year. Well, here we are already 15 days in and I'm just now making my first post of the year. :-/ Now you see why I don't make resolutions, hehe. To be fair, I did go back to work full-time on the 3rd so it's been hard trying to find any extra time to do anything these days, much less blog. Lucy doesn't start at her daycare until the 30th so I've been lugging her to work with me and trying to work from home as much as I can. I don't know what I was thinking when I was pregnant. I thought it would be so easy to bring a 2-month-old with me to work all day while I productively get my work done. I mean, all they do at that age is just sleep, poop, and eat, right? Riiight... not my kid! As challenging as it's been, I surprisingly have been able to cope and make it work... some days better than others! I gotta say, I do love having her with me every day. However, tomorrow Mark is off work so it's the first day I get to go in the entire day without a baby. Now that I think about it, it will be the longest I've ever been away from her.

We've hit a major milestone this past week. Ok, it's probably not one I'll mark in the baby book but it was a huge milestone for us anyway. I have exclusively breastfed Lucy since she was born. I didn't necessarily plan it like that, it's just how my stubborn little girl seemed to want it. She absolutely refused to take a bottle, for weeks. Now I have no problem with her wanting breastmilk over formula (better for her, cheaper for us!) but I at least wish she would take it from a bottle! It was definitely hard on me since I was never able to get a break longer then say, 3 hours? So after talking to her pediatrician and getting advice from a lactation consultant, we decided last weekend was the weekend that she was going to take that bottle! We had to cut off breastfeeding cold turkey. Surprisingly, she only lasted a few hours and was hungry enough to take the bottle. Well, she didn't just "take" it, she sucked that baby down in a matter of a couple minutes. After that, she got better and better and in less than 24 hours, she was officially a bottle drinker. Yay! (Although I wasn't so happy about it then - I was a little sad feeling like she no longer "needed" me. Silly, I know!) But it's been sooo nice to get the extra help with her feedings. It's been weird having all of this freedom now!

Other than that.. we also have some more HUGE news to share, although I'm a little adament to post about it in fear that I'll jinx myself. But here it goes... we are pretty sure the colic is GONE! I'm not even exaggerating when I say it but I literally have a new baby these days. There are times I don't even recognize her. I never thought I'd ever see the day that we didn't have to give her at least ONE dose of gas drops or gripe water or have to spend our evenings walking and bouncing her around the house on her belly while she fussed and fussed. All of a sudden she is the sweetest little baby that is so content on playing on the floor on her floor mat, swinging her swing for at least an hour while she watches t.v., talking to her toys that hang from her bouncy seat, and even, get this, just sitting in our laps while she sucks on her wawee (pacifier). I am totally loving it and finally seeing what everyone was talking about when they said "this too shall pass".

Now you know I can't end this post until I show you some new pics of my girl. Here are 3 news pictures I actually took this morning. Can you believe she's 10 weeks already!?

The Story of Us

Our first official date was 10/26/04.